Wednesday, October 23, 2013
It's 5 months and now poppy Tattersall has been called home too. I miss you daddy. Hatteras wasn't the same, but I could feel you there with us. To the moon daddy, with all my heart!!
Here are my words from the funeral:
I lay here with the most awful ache in the pit of my stomach. These last few days like a whirlwind. I don't know where to begin to start my life without you. On the outside I may seem ok but inside I feel alone and scared. It's funny how things change. I started off the week blaming myself and I'm ending the week wondering how I go on. I know you'd tell us not to cry. I know you'd tell us that you're fine. I know you'd say "you're going to be all right". But daddy, nothing seems this way to us. The pain we feel, it feels like it's never going to leave us. We have spent a lot of time with one another, many hugs, tears and stories (even from your grand kids). Through all of the pain we're feeling, there are a couple of things we know for sure..... 1. We were very blessed to have a father/grandfather who loved us so much...... 2. Our world will never ever be the same...... No more picking up the phone to call or running to your room to ask a question, no more kisses, no more hugs, no more returned "I love you's. our hearts are full of pain daddy, but we know you found gram, pop, Uncle Clyde, Uncle Russ and even a few of your friends. I'm sure you're living it up. The reception at the gate must have been amazing. Until we meet again daddy. I hold your love in my heart, I feel your hand in mine, I feel your arms around me and I know that even though I feel alone, you are always by my side!! All my love!!
My dad's favorite place on earth was Hatteras Village, NC. We have been going there since about 1994 and daddy started a year before me. We started off going for 1 week, for a while we were going for 3 weeks and these last years we've been there for 2 weeks. I have a feeling that Daddy's there sitting on the beach with his beach chair far enough from the water that it never gets to touch his feet. My daddy was what we call a "turn" , you know, the birds who wait for the wave to pull back then they run in to grab the little muscles that are at the top of the sand quickly before the next wave rolls in, when that next wave rolls in, they run back toward the beach until it rolls out and they start all over again.
Daddy and I were very close. Growing up I didn't want to leave his side, I'm sure I drove him crazy at times. I would walk next to him with my arm around his waist, so close to him I'd almost be tripping him. We used to measure our hands. I have wide hands like my daddy and after we would put our hands up to each others, there would be a game of mercy. I gave daddy a run for his money there. Although, maybe he was just letting me feel like I was ALMOST as strong as he was.
Daddy loved us so much and we loved him just the same. To the moon daddy!! With my soul.
